- 16-Sep-2025
- Marriage and Divorce Laws
In some custody arrangements, parents may seek tools to help children manage emotions, develop better coping mechanisms, or improve communication between the child and parents. One such tool that has gained popularity in recent years is daily journaling. Journaling can provide children with an outlet for expressing their feelings, reflecting on their experiences, and improving their emotional regulation.
While journaling can certainly be a beneficial therapeutic practice, mandating it as a requirement in a custody arrangement is not typical, nor is it easily enforceable. Nonetheless, a court or a parenting plan might suggest or encourage the practice, especially if it aligns with the child’s emotional or psychological needs. Whether or not it can be mandated largely depends on the specifics of the custody case, the child’s age, and the parents’ agreement.
Emotional and Psychological Benefits of Journaling:
Therapeutic Value: Journaling has been widely recognized as a therapeutic tool that helps individuals process emotions, manage stress, and work through difficult experiences. For children in custody situations, writing can be an effective way to express complicated feelings of loss, confusion, and anger that might be difficult to verbalize.
Self-reflection: Regular journaling allows the child to reflect on daily events, relationships, and experiences, promoting self-awareness and emotional intelligence. It can also help children feel more empowered by giving them a tool to better understand their emotions and experiences.
Age and Maturity: The child’s age and cognitive development are key factors when deciding if journaling should be mandated. Younger children may not have the writing skills or emotional maturity to fully engage in journaling, while older children or teenagers might find it more accessible.
Guided Journaling vs. Free Writing: For younger children, guided journaling (with prompts or questions) might be more appropriate, while older children may benefit from free writing, allowing them to explore their thoughts and feelings without restrictions. A mandated journaling practice might need to be customized based on the child’s age and readiness.
Mandating vs. Suggesting: A court can technically suggest journaling as part of a therapeutic intervention if it believes it will benefit the child’s emotional or mental health. However, mandating daily journaling as part of the custody arrangement is less common, as the court’s role is to make decisions in the best interest of the child and may not have the authority to enforce such a specific and individualized practice.
Judicial Discretion: If the court believes that journaling would provide therapeutic value, it may recommend or order it as part of a broader mental health treatment plan (e.g., counseling or therapy), but it’s unlikely to make it a strict daily requirement without the child’s willingness or without expert recommendations.
Parental Agreement: For daily journaling to be successful, both parents must support it, particularly if the child is required to share the journal between homes. Clear communication between parents about the purpose and expectations around journaling is critical. If one parent strongly objects to the practice or doesn’t agree on the method, it could lead to confusion or resistance from the child.
Consistency in Parenting Time: Journaling would need to be incorporated into both parents’ routines. If the child is spending time in two separate households, both parents should be on the same page about how journaling is structured, how frequently it should be done, and whether it’s shared between both households.
Creating a Routine: If journaling is mandated or encouraged, parents would need to establish a routine for the child to engage in the practice. This may include setting aside a specific time each day for journaling (e.g., before bed) or incorporating it into the child’s daily activities.
Enforcing Compliance: Unlike other aspects of custody, such as visitation or child support, enforcing compliance with journaling is challenging. There’s no easy way to ensure a child is journaling daily, particularly if the child resists the practice. Parents might need to find creative ways to encourage journaling, such as rewarding consistency or offering guidance on how to approach the practice.
Emotional Pressure: Mandating journaling, especially if it’s perceived as a punishment or emotional task, could inadvertently create more emotional distress for the child, particularly if the child is not ready to engage or finds it difficult to articulate feelings.
Privacy Issues: If a child’s journal is being shared between both parents or is being monitored, there may be concerns regarding privacy. The child may feel uncomfortable expressing themselves freely if they know their parents are reading their journal entries, which could defeat the purpose of using journaling as a therapeutic tool.
Resistance or Avoidance: Some children may resist journaling or find it difficult to maintain consistency. In these cases, the child might avoid the practice altogether, leading to frustration or a sense of failure.
Therapeutic Journaling Sessions: Instead of mandating daily journaling, a child might be encouraged to engage in therapeutic writing sessions under the guidance of a counselor or therapist. This approach allows for a more structured and supportive environment for the child to explore their emotions.
Behavioral Therapy or Family Counseling: In cases where journaling is part of a broader emotional development plan, therapy or counseling might be a better solution. A professional can guide both parents and children through emotional issues in a more controlled and effective way than journaling alone.
A 12-year-old child has been struggling with emotional adjustments following a recent divorce, and a therapist suggests that journaling might help the child process their feelings. The court includes journaling as part of the child’s therapy plan in the custody agreement but leaves the frequency and method open for flexibility.
The father agrees that journaling could help, while the mother is more concerned about ensuring the child’s privacy and emotional well-being.
After discussing with the therapist, they agree to allow the child to write freely but in a way that respects the child’s need for autonomy and privacy.
They set a goal for the child to journal three times a week rather than every day, with both parents encouraging the practice without pushing the child too hard. The child is given an opportunity to share the journal with the therapist for emotional support if needed.
Mandating daily journaling in a custody arrangement is not typical, and there are several legal and practical considerations that need to be taken into account, such as the child’s age, emotional readiness, and both parents’ agreement. While journaling can offer significant emotional benefits, especially for children in difficult family situations, it’s important that it be approached in a way that is supportive and aligned with the child’s needs. Mandating it without proper context, flexibility, and parental cooperation could lead to resistance or emotional stress for the child. Therefore, a more therapeutic approach, such as guided journaling within the context of professional support, is often more effective than simply requiring it as a daily task.
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