Can Custody Include Guidelines for Virtual School Etiquette?

As virtual learning becomes more common, especially due to global shifts in education brought on by the pandemic, custody agreements may evolve to address new challenges. One such challenge is ensuring that children maintain appropriate behavior and etiquette during online schooling. Just as children are expected to follow certain rules and manners in traditional classrooms, similar guidelines can be set for virtual school environments. Including virtual school etiquette in custody agreements can help both parents ensure their child’s online education is conducted respectfully and productively, fostering a positive learning experience.

How Virtual School Etiquette Guidelines Can Benefit Custody Arrangements:

• Ensuring Respectful Online Behavior: Virtual classrooms are not just about academic learning but also about socializing and communicating with peers and teachers. Setting clear expectations about online etiquette, such as muting microphones when not speaking, raising hands to ask questions, and respecting others’ speaking time, can help maintain a respectful environment during virtual school sessions.
• Consistency Between Households: If both parents set similar guidelines for virtual school etiquette, the child will experience consistency regardless of which parent they are with. This reduces confusion and helps the child understand that the same behavioral standards apply in both households, supporting their learning environment.
• Improved Focus and Productivity: Clear guidelines about appropriate behaviors during virtual learning-like staying focused, being punctual, and minimizing distractions-can improve the child’s academic engagement. This helps the child take their online education more seriously and encourages a more productive learning environment.
• Fostering Self-Discipline and Responsibility: Setting rules for virtual school etiquette teaches the child self-discipline and responsibility. Understanding that they need to be prepared and respectful for virtual school sessions helps them develop skills they will need for future academic and professional settings.
• Parental Involvement in Education: Including virtual school etiquette in a custody agreement can enhance parental involvement. Both parents can agree on how they will support their child during virtual learning, whether that means helping with setup, ensuring the child has a quiet space, or monitoring the child’s behavior during school sessions.

Key Guidelines That Could Be Included in Custody Agreements:

• Setting Up a Distraction-Free Learning Environment: The agreement could specify that both parents will ensure the child has a designated, quiet area for virtual school sessions. This might include minimizing distractions like TV, video games, or noisy environments. Clear expectations about the importance of a focused workspace would help the child engage better in learning.
• Punctuality and Attendance: Parents may agree that both households will ensure the child logs in on time for virtual classes and attends the required sessions. This ensures that the child stays on track with their education and does not miss important lessons.
• Appropriate Use of Technology: Guidelines can also cover the responsible use of technology during online learning. This might include restrictions on using social media or personal devices during class time, emphasizing the importance of staying focused and using the device strictly for learning purposes.
• Active Participation in Class: The agreement could encourage active participation, such as turning on the camera during lessons, participating in discussions, and asking questions when appropriate. This supports the child’s engagement with both the teacher and classmates.
• Respect for Teachers and Classmates: Clear expectations can be set for maintaining respectful communication during virtual sessions. This includes using polite language, refraining from interrupting others, and following the teacher’s instructions. Parents can set rules for maintaining appropriate online conduct, similar to the behavior expected in a physical classroom.
• Breaks and Screen Time: To protect the child’s health and well-being, parents can agree on scheduled breaks to reduce screen time, which is known to contribute to fatigue and eye strain. Limiting non-school-related screen time can also help the child stay focused during learning sessions.
• Monitoring and Support: Both parents can agree on how they will support the child during virtual learning. This might include actively helping with technology issues, providing encouragement, or checking in on progress. Parents may also agree to monitor their child’s progress by reviewing completed assignments and interacting with teachers as necessary.

How Virtual School Etiquette Can Be Enforced:

• Co-Parenting Communication: Effective communication between parents is crucial for enforcing virtual school etiquette. If the child is spending time with one parent, they may check in with the other parent about any challenges or successes during virtual school sessions. This can foster a cooperative approach to addressing issues as they arise.
• Consequences for Disruptions: If the child consistently fails to follow the established virtual school etiquette (such as showing up late, causing disruptions, or failing to participate), parents can set mutually agreed-upon consequences. These might include extra homework time, limited screen time, or other natural consequences that align with the child’s overall learning goals.
• Regular Check-Ins: Both parents could periodically check in with the child’s teachers or review their school performance. This can help identify any issues related to behavior or academic progress and allow both parents to address them together.

Legal Considerations for Including Virtual School Etiquette:

• Agreement Between Parents: Just like any provision in a custody agreement, both parents must agree to the inclusion of virtual school etiquette guidelines. They should have a clear discussion about their expectations and ensure the guidelines are in the child’s best interest.
• Adjusting for Changing Needs: As the child grows or as the educational environment changes (e.g., moving from virtual to in-person schooling), parents may need to adjust the guidelines. It’s important to revisit the terms of the agreement periodically to ensure they remain relevant.
• Court Approval: If either parent wishes to include virtual school etiquette as part of a formal custody agreement, it should be presented to the court for approval. The court will prioritize the child’s educational needs and ensure the guidelines are fair and reasonable.

Potential Challenges:

• Conflicting Expectations: If one parent is more lenient about virtual school etiquette (e.g., allowing distractions or flexible attendance), it may create conflict and inconsistency. Parents will need to work together to ensure they’re on the same page and support each other’s expectations.
• Resistance from the Child: Some children, particularly older ones, may resist strict guidelines about their virtual school behavior. Parents should strive to make the rules clear but also explain the importance of these guidelines for their academic success and well-being.
• Enforcement Issues: Unlike traditional school settings, it may be harder to enforce virtual school etiquette if one parent does not have direct oversight during the child’s online classes. In these cases, it’s important to rely on communication and collaboration between parents to keep the child on track.

Example:

Sarah and Mark share custody of their 10-year-old daughter, Emily, who is attending school virtually. Emily has had some issues with staying focused during online classes, and both parents want to ensure she participates more actively in her education.

Steps Sarah and Mark may take:

• Sarah and Mark agree to include virtual school etiquette guidelines in their custody agreement. They decide that Emily will have a designated study area in each home, free from distractions like TV or video games.
• The agreement specifies that Emily will log into her virtual classes on time and keep her camera on for full participation. Both parents will ensure she takes scheduled breaks from the screen.
• Sarah and Mark both agree to check in with Emily’s teachers monthly to monitor her progress and behavior in class.
• Emily’s performance improves as she becomes more engaged in class, and both parents feel more involved in her education.

Conclusion:

Including virtual school etiquette in a custody agreement can help create a structured and consistent learning environment for children during online schooling. By setting clear expectations for online behavior, participation, and respect, both parents can support their child’s educational success and well-being. While it may require ongoing communication and adjustments, these guidelines help ensure that children remain focused and engaged during virtual learning sessions, benefiting both their academic and personal development.