- 08-Aug-2025
- Marriage and Divorce Laws
Parenting plans are vital components of family law cases, particularly in custody arrangements, as they outline how parents will share the responsibility of raising their child. These plans typically cover visitation schedules, decision-making responsibilities, and other crucial aspects of the child’s upbringing. A common question in family law is whether children can be involved in the creation or drafting of these plans. While children do not have a legal right to make decisions in the process, they may have the opportunity to express their views, especially as they grow older and can articulate their needs and preferences. Courts generally prioritize the child’s best interests and may take the child's perspective into consideration when deciding on custody arrangements.
Generally, children do not participate directly in drafting the legal aspects of parenting plans. However, as children mature, especially around the age of 12 or older, family courts may allow them to share their opinions or preferences regarding living arrangements, visitation schedules, or other relevant issues. Courts recognize that children, particularly adolescents, may have valuable insights about what works best for them.
The guiding principle in family law is always the best interests of the child. While children are not typically granted decision-making power in the drafting of parenting plans, their emotional and psychological well-being is considered. If a child’s preferences are taken into account, they may be heard through a guardian ad litem, child psychologist, or family mediator, rather than being directly involved in drafting the plan.
Parents generally make the final decisions in a parenting plan. However, they may discuss the plan with the child, especially if the child is older, to understand the child’s preferences. This is typically more relevant for aspects such as visitation schedules or where the child will live.
In some situations, particularly when the child is older and capable of expressing preferences, the court may consider their wishes. Courts will still prioritize the best interests of the child, but a child’s input can sometimes influence visitation and living arrangements. The weight given to a child’s opinion depends on their age, maturity, and understanding of the situation.
Courts sometimes appoint a guardian ad litem (a person who represents the child's best interests) in custody disputes. A guardian ad litem can interview the child and make recommendations to the court. While the child doesn’t directly participate in drafting the parenting plan, the guardian ensures that the child’s preferences and emotional needs are considered.
In some cases, especially when the child is older, the court might allow the child to be interviewed by a judge, social worker, or therapist. This interview helps the court understand the child’s emotional needs and any preferences they may have. However, the child’s input is never the sole factor in decision-making; it’s just one piece of the overall evaluation of what is in the child’s best interests.
Family therapists or child psychologists might be involved in helping children express their needs and preferences in a healthy and constructive way. They can help children process their emotions related to custody arrangements and can offer insights to the court about the child’s psychological well-being.
In some cases, parents and children may participate in family mediation, especially when the child is older. Mediation is a process where a neutral third party helps parents and children work through custody issues, including visitation schedules and other parenting responsibilities. The child can share their thoughts, but the final decision rests with the parents and the court.
While children typically do not draft parenting plans themselves, parents may engage in open, age-appropriate conversations with their children about the plan. For instance, parents may ask the child how they feel about where they live, how often they see each parent, or which activities are important to them. The parent can then incorporate those preferences into the plan if it aligns with the child's best interests.
Children cannot legally decide how custody will be shared, nor can they determine which parent gets primary custody. Parenting plans are ultimately a legal agreement between the parents, and any modification or creation of the plan requires court approval. Children’s voices are considered, but they do not hold legal power over the final decision.
Involving children too directly in the decision-making process could place undue stress or emotional burden on them. For younger children, particularly, it may be harmful to ask them to choose between parents or decide on visitation schedules. Children should not be made to feel responsible for parental disputes or be asked to make decisions that adults should handle.
Courts will evaluate whether a child is emotionally mature enough to understand the implications of the decisions being made. Even if a child is allowed to express preferences, courts will be careful not to put the child in a position where they feel compelled to choose sides or make adult-level decisions.
The degree to which children are involved in the creation of parenting plans can vary by state. Some states may be more willing to take into account a child’s views, particularly as the child gets older (e.g., 12 years and up), while others may limit the role of the child to just expressing preferences through interviews or assessments by third parties.
In some states, once a child reaches the age of majority (typically 18), they have the legal right to make decisions about their living arrangements. Until that point, however, their input is considered but not determinative in the creation of a parenting plan.
Sarah and Tom are in the midst of a custody battle over their 14-year-old son, Michael. The parents are struggling to agree on where Michael should live, and Michael is old enough to have his own opinion about which parent he prefers to live with. Michael expresses to both parents that he feels more comfortable living with his father because of the activities and community support near his dad’s home.
Children can be involved in the process of drafting parenting plans, but their participation is generally limited to expressing preferences, especially as they get older. Courts may listen to children’s opinions, but ultimately, the parents and the court make the final decisions based on the child’s best interests. Involving children too directly in the decision-making process can sometimes place undue stress on them, but their voices can still be heard through third-party professionals like guardians ad litem or family therapists. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure that the child’s emotional, psychological, and educational needs are met.
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